As soon as i found out there was an acting class today i bugged out...and i hated myself as soon as i started to panic. I hated myself because i felt as if i don't really have a vigor for acting, that if i really loved it i'd just be able to do it, no problem..
While we were walking to the community center i thought of what we would possibly do and how to calm myself and do what i love to to do and naturally. I tried to be powered or motivated by my passion and interest in acting. I didn't think it'd work because i always do that before some sort of audition and it never worked.
At first it wasn't so bad, we did a few exercises and i really liked them. When we had to just walk all over the stage...it was really relaxing to me so i would sort of just daze out and walk, as if strolling in a park or something -_- Then i started to actually do the exercises because Luke started spontaneously calling on people.
When we all sat and the "real" acting began i still wasn't too nervous, but i spoke and i forgot what i said but the next thing i knew i was walking up and doing the exercise. I still wasn't nervous so i knew i was either going to mess up real bad or do well. I really tried to just do what i would do. We had to sneak and as we learned earlier in the class, acting isn't becoming someone else (which is impossible) its being you but taking yourself to a different place. So we had to act like we were sneaking into a room or place of our choice and steal a hat. The only time i ever sneak is when its night time in my house and i'd literally be like a ninja around my house so that i don't wake up my parents. So i tried that approach, you know sneaking crouching near the ground and i think Luke called me a drunk something....HAHA. Ok we anyways, i'm just summarizing everything that happened today but what actually happened personally happened today was...i got my mind cleared. I've always tried to be a better actor and i thought that acting was becoming your character. That was the set image of an actor in my head the day i started to grow my passion for it. But soon i caught on how hard that was and i think i was always close to grasping the fact that it was impossible but i just didn't have any other idea to grasp if i lost that one so i just kept torturing myself over how much i cant act or act well or well enough for my standards for me at least...
So today really cleared my mind, and i feel such a weight off my shoulders. I feel as if i can be better as a person and actress now and i feel...as if i've discovered something. Now i cant wait to develop this new aspect and develop better skills off of it
"While we were walking to the community center i thought of what we would possibly do and how to calm myself and do what i love to to do and naturally. I tried to be powered or motivated by my passion and interest in acting. I didn't think it'd work because i always do that before some sort of audition and it never worked."
ReplyDeleteYES! Isn't this exactly what we did in class with the walking exercise? We concoct stories in our heads, and then we get ourselves all worked up over the story, not the reality. Proof positive of exactly what we did in class.
Don't confuse acting with performing.
I'm glad your head is clear now - you don't become someone else. And all the guilt and shame at NOT being able to become someone else now goes away, and now you can actually get down to it. How cool is that?
Warm regards,
Luke
Sneaking around like a Ninja is fine. But you have to get to it a certain way. You cannot just put it on. WHY do you move like a ninja when you sneak around the house? Why don't you just walk? Remember that the Ninja behavior comes OUT of you, it isn't something you put ON you. Does that make sense?
ReplyDeleteLuke
"sneaking around like a ninja is fine" HAHAH
ReplyDeleteand yes! after i posted this and re read it i realized how it was exactly what we learned in class and what do you mean don't confuse acting with performing?
and i move like a ninja because my house has the noisiest floor boards and my parents wake up easily hahaha but yea when i think about it, it makes sense. If i was to "put on" ninja behavior that would just be bad acting
Exactly. Where did your Ninja like sneaking come from? From the fact you've a noisy house and alert parents. You end of moving that way BECAUSE of that, so to get that ninja sneaking to look real, it must be in response to something. You have to imagine that something, somehow create that something, to get the behavior naturally.
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